Saturday, September 4, 2010

Obsessive Thought of the Day.

Someone told me today that fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails.

This has got me wondering two things...  

  1. Why did this person hand me this little nugget of knowledge in the first place?
  2. Why would fingernails be so over active compared to their stubby counterparts?

Its like a splinter in my head! I can't stop wondering about why that might be true. Is it because the longer the finger the faster it grows? Maybe it's because fingers get sunlight. or have better circulation? 

Perhaps, but I have a different theory... 

Maybe fingernails are just snotty, showboating bastards. They must feel so smug compared to their stubby counterparts. They get decked out in their fancy Lee Press On Nails, and then soaked in Palmolive while the toes are tucked away in an old tube sock, without so much so much as an Odor Eater.

Wake up toes! I know you can catch up!

Okay... now that I have that off my chest I can sleep.